Box of Wonders
by Lycan.Kallias
Summary: Tohru finds a box hidden in the attic. Haru, Yuki, Shigure, and Kyo all just happen to be around when she decides to open it. Warning: This is complete idiocy and my first attempt at humor.


**Okay. So this is my first attempt at a 'humor' story.... ever. So bear with it. Idiocy will be the only thing this story has to offer. I have no idea what the hell the rating is supposed to be either.... I guessed. **

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**Box of Wonders**

"Sohma-san! Kyo-kun! Look what I found!" Tohru called out excitedly from the hallway. Three boys looked up as the door slid open. The grey haired boy smiled still trying to push a very bored looking youth off of his arm, while the crimson eyed enigma just looked annoyed. She smiled brightly and held out a bright red box.

"Isn't it pretty?" She asked setting it down on the table and taking a seat. "It's got all of the animals from the zodiac craved into it! And look the cat's there too!" And indeed the cat had been carved in, sleeping on the back.

"Honda-san, where did you find that?" Yuki asked, finally giving up and getting glomped by the stubborn ox.

"In the attic!" She smiled brightly.

"We have an attic?" Kyo asked, finally interested in the conversation.

Yuki only rolled his eyes in answer as Tohru began to lift the lid.

"Why were you in the attic?" Shigure piped in, walking into the room.

Tohru turned to him. "I saw a door at the end of the hallway while I was cleaning."

The man's eyes went wide as he saw the box. "Don't open that!"

But it was too late.

A pink fog filled the house instantly, causing the mailman outside to back away slowly as it leaked from the windows.

"Kyaaaa!" Kyo's voice screamed.

"What the fuck was that scream about?" Shigure said, voice oddly dark.

"Oh my god!" Yuki's un-characterisically girlish voice piped.

Haru only giggled.

"Oh god, will you all just grow a pair." Came Tohru's rude reply.

The everyone sat silent as the room cleared. Eyes widened and a few gasps went around as they saw why everyone had suddenly seemed so different.

Standing across the room stood a duplicate Yuki, Kyo, Haru, Tohru, and Shigure... just... different.

The duplicate Yuki stood shyly clutching the edge of his shirt, a blush covering his face. Kyo was biting his lip standing just as shyly as his cousin. Next to him Haru sat looking dreamily around the room. Then Tohru, whose arms were crossed menacingly across her chest, legs spread in an almost mocking way. And Shigure... He just glared.

"What the...?" The real Kyo seemed unable to finish, mouth hanging open.

The duplicate Tohru glared. "Shut yer trap! Sheesh! You look like an idiot!!"

"Oh my god!" The real Tohru began waving her hands frantically. "I didn't mean that! I mean! I- it's- I'm so sorry!" Yuki and Kyo, the replica's of course, ran to Tohru's side, embracing her.

(_Duplicates have a B at the end of their names from this point on._)

"Look what you did!" Kyo-B turned to Tohru-B. "You made her cry, you're such a meanie!"

"Poor child!" Yuki-B cried laying Tohru's blushing head on his chest. Kyo visibly began twitching while Yuki could only look on dumb struck.

"Shigure... What was in that box?" Yuki asked turning to the older man.

He smiled. "Actually I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Kyo roared.

"Because I don't know." Everyone visibly sweat dropped as Yuki-B and Kyo-B still gushed over Tohru. "Ayame and I found that box a long time ago. We went over to Hatori's house... and well, the box, or fog I guess, flips the personalities of anyone in the room when it's opened. Creating the wonderful duplicates you see before you. Pfft! Hatori's duplicate was soooo much fun!" He laughed.

"You're sooo beautiful Tohru!" Yuki-B and Kyo-B coo-ed making the two originals blush brightly. Kyo-B gave Tohru-B a brilliant smile. "You're beautiful too!" He almost shouted at her.

She scowled. "Please. As if I'd ever date a man."

That made the chaos stop. "WHAT THE HELL!?!?!" Kyo jumped up, eyes darting between Tohru and her duplicate. Haru and Yuki seemed to share his disbelief. Tohru moved frantically to deny this but Shigure and Haru-B's laughter drowned her out.

"I told you they had opposite personalities!!" Shigure snorted.

"Like sexuality matters!!" Haru-B joined his snorting, moving to Shigure's side. "I myself happen to be asexual! None of you appeal to me!" After that Haru-B and Shigure began laughing again and ended up having a very weird conversation.

Shigure-B on the other hand walked over to a still shocked Kyo and threw his arm over him. "You may look stupid, but I bet you're awesome in bed." He announced, pulling Kyo's face roughly toward him. Kyo let out a scared/frustrated noise and punched the feisty duplicate in the face. "Mm. I like 'em rough."

And with that he threw the scared cat over his shoulder, who was fighting every inch of the way.

"Shigure! How long is this supposed to last?" Yuki asked clearly frustrated. He began pulling his squealing duplicate off a blushing Tohru, before said duplicate turned and glomped his original.

"Ohmigosh! We're so pretty! Can you believe it?" He gushed ignoring the struggling boy beneath him.

"WHY ISN'T ANYONE HELPING ME!?!?!?!" Kyo screamed holding on to the door jam for dear life, kicking at the sadistically grinning duplicate who was currently trying to drag him away by a foot.

Tohru flailed helplessly under Kyo-B's hug.

Haru and Tohru-B in the mean time, just looked bored

"Not long!" He replied in a singsong voice, before turning back to a still dreamy looking Haru-B.

And with that there was a sudden poof.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief as the room fell into silence.

"Ah. Fun times, fun times." Shigure sighed and looked over at Haru... before looking away sadly. The ox gave him an odd look. "Duplicates are so much more fun than the originals."

Kyo got up hurriedly. "You bastards!! You were going to let him drag me away!"

"You were enjoying it." Haru replied.

"Gah! Screw you!"

Yuki rolled his eyes and took his seat by Haru once more, who immediately tried to hug him.

"So what did you think of the box?" Shigure asked Tohru, who had been clearly thinking the entire time.

"Um." She started, still trying to figure something out in her head. "Um... how come me and Shigure's opposites were the only gay ones?"

An odd silence filled the house for the rest of the day.

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**Ha ha! Like I said. First attempt at humor ever. So if you have any tips.... I'd like 'em. Please tell me what you think (and how I can attempt to fake a sense of humor)! XD Take Haru-B's 'asexulaity' however you want. Ha ha ha! And please no reviews about how Kyo, Yuki and Haru aren't gay. I know this. I just wanted to make 'em that was for no apparent reason.**


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